Starter Sentence Success Story

Each month our group sends out a "starter sentence" and asks that members use that kernel of an idea to jump-start their muse and then write a short piece.  At the same time in late November, the Virginian-Pilot asked for reader submissions on the topic of "gifts that didn't turn out the way they had hoped."  Gina Buzby, multi-tasker that she is, combined the two things and came up with a story about one of her husband's childhood disappointments. She sent the story to the Pilot, and it got picked up!  It appeared, ABOVE THE FOLD, AND WITH ILLUSTRATIONS, on the front page of the Daily Break on Saturday, December 21.  You can read her original submission by clicking here.  As editors are wont to do, they tweaked Gina's story a bit, but the essence of the story is there, and it all started with an EBWG starter sentence.  Congratulations, Gina, on your publishing success!

The Critique Process

The Critique Process

Mary-Jac O’Daniel
December 13, 2013

1.     The critique process

1. Let the author know if this is not your favorite type of story.
2. Write down your impressions as a reader.
3. Try to give feedback on what could be changed.
4. Give examples of improvements.
5. Praise where praise is due.
6. Never criticize the author personally.
7. Critique as you would want to be critiqued.
   
   

2.     Check list

1. Opening
2. Conflict
3. Plot
4. Setting
5. Characterization
6. Dialogue
7. Point of View
8. Show versus tell
9. Format of the text

J.      Grammar and spelling

·  Conflict

1. Is it boring? Something needs to be happening. Conflict is "The mental or moral struggle caused by incompatible desires and aims. That is the kind of conflict that makes stories vitally alive." - Ben Bova in "The Craft of Writing Science Fiction That Sells".
2. Is there emotional conflict WITHIN the main character? Between the main characters? Emotional conflict is part of what gets readers interested. For example: love vs. loyalty; greed vs. duty; fear vs. desire; revenge vs. self-doubt.
3. Are there too many or not enough conflicts?

4.     Is there enough conflict between the characters? Is it expressed through action, dialogue, attitudes, or values?

5.     Every scene needs to have a point!

 

·  Setting

1. Did the author paint an adequate picture of the setting. Could you see the red grape glistening in the sun?
2. Along those lines, was there too much description? Were there distracting cliches?

3.     If the story takes place in the south, does the dialogue and actions of characters fit the setting?

4.     Is the timing and order of events in the story consistent?

·  Characterization

1. Did the people seem real?
2. Were the facts about the characters accurate and consistent?

3.     Did you get a good picture of the culture, historical period, location, and occupation of the main character?

4. Backstory: Were you distracted by too much background information of a character at one time? Did the author seem to dump a lot of information on the background of a character in one or two long speeches, or did we learn about that character here and there in smaller pieces?

·  Dialogue

1. Did the words from the mouths of the people in the story seem consistent with their personalities?
2. Was there too much or not enough dialogue, in your opinion? Usually writers err on the side of not enough dialogue.
3. Did the dialogue seem easy to speak? Can you 'hear' it?
4. In an exchange of conversation, can you easily tell who is speaking if you didn't have their names or gender attached to their sentences?
5. Avoid talking heads.

·  Point of View

1. Did the story skip around between the first person or third person point of view (POV)? Were the changes in POV signaled clearly?
2. When the POV changed, were you able to quickly sense who the new viewpoint was from?

·  Show versus tell

1.     When in the POV of a character, did the author describe what his/her senses showed, e.g., sight, sound, smell, touch, taste? Or did the author just tell you the dinner was very good?

2.     Did the author describe exactly how the people acted?

3.     Were there many instances of words such as "very", "much", "really", "great", or "nice" when a more detailed description would have been more colorful?

 

December Meeting Minutes

East Beach Writer’s Guild
Minutes from the December 13, 2013 Meeting

Meeting called to order at 9:15 at the home of Randi Klein.

Kudos of those in attendance as follows:

o   Mary-Jac—Has been writing/editing 30 minutes a day

o   Mike—The proofs for his new release, The End of Free Will, are in the mail!  He has been learning social media in order to promote. You’ll soon be able to order your copy.

o   Pat—The December starter sentence (be sure and read it…see link at the end of the minutes) helped him move forward with his current WIP, so has put his new project on hold while he returns to his original.

o   Randi—She has self-published a short story “Grandpa’s Glasses” printed on canvas paper as a Christmas gift for her granddaughter.

o   Sally—Showed an advanced copy of Virginia is for Mysteries, (to be released by Koehler Books on January 2, 2014).  It includes her short story, “Best Friends Help You Move the Body.”  A book release will be held January 11, 2014, at the East Beach Sandwich Company where 6 of the 14 contributing authors will be in attendance to sign the book.

New Business:  Congratulations to Mike Owens on his upcoming release! 

Old Business:

o   Books collected for the Toys for Tots are as follows:

Ø  The Screaming Staircase, a Lockwood & Co. adventure, by Johathan Stroud;

Ø  The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates, a Magic Marks the Spot book by Caroline Carlson (according to the contributor, you CAN judge a book by its title!);

Ø  Once Upon a Time, Y’all: Southern Origin Stories “How Mister Turtle Got His Shell” and “Why The Mockingbird Has Many Voices” by Lisa C. Ray (accompanied by a wonderfully soft stuffed turtle);

Ø  A Dr. Seuss Board Book collection which included “ABC The Amazing Alphabet Book”, “I’ll Teach My Dog A Lot of Words”, “ The Alphabet Book”, and “Go, Dog. Go!”

Ø  Dr. Seuss’s What Was I Scared Of?;

Ø  If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” by Laur Numeroff;

Ø  Great Illustrated Classic The Secret Garden  by Frances Hogdson Burnett;

Ø  The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain;

Ø  The Nutcracker by E. T. A Hoffman;

Ø  The Call of the Wild by Jack London.

These books will be dropped off at the Toys for Tots bin at the East Beach Porch Walk on Sunday.  Thanks to the generous donations of the EBWG members, there will be lots of smiling faces on Christmas morning!

o   Library Reorganization will take place in early 2014.  More information at the January meeting.

o   Upcoming Meetings:

Ø  January 17  will be our first critique session.  Submit 5 pages in manuscript format (which is double-spaced, Times New Roman 12 pt font, 1 inch margins) to EBWG2013@aol.com (the guild email address) by January 8.  In the interest of time, only the first 5 submissions will be critiqued.  Once submitted, they will be sent to all the members in the group.  Then we’ll each take our pens and, using things that MJ will teach  as part of today’s program, critique the submissions.  Then we’ll bring our critiques to the next meeting and discuss what we thought and share with the author. 

Ø  February 14 - Invited Guest speaker Jim Warren, published author from Northern Virginia, who has written multiple articles for professional magazines.  He is also writing a novel and has a concept for a children's book.  His presentation will be about writing and getting published in magazines.  He is a retired Navy Commander and Gina’s brother.

Ø  March 21—Invited guest speaker Shelia Buff, professional editor and published writer,  http://sheilabuff.com/.

Ø  April 18—second quarter critique session.

Starter Sentence:  This month’s starter sentence was…”The tree we bought smelled great…” 

o   Again, some great submissions!  You can read them at http://eastbeachwritersguild.blogspot.com/p/starter-sentences.html

              For those of you who weren’t in attendance (or forgot them or didn’t do them yet or wrote the wrong month…please send your musings to EBWG2013@aol.com so they can be posted and shared with the world.

o   January Starter Sentence:  “The forecast calls for snow…”  So go on, get writing!

The meeting was adjourned, and the program turned over to Mary-Jac O’Daniel who gave a fabulous presentation on how to critique, and then we did a hands-on critique for practice.  The handout Mary-Jac provided is posted separately on this blog.

Respectfully submitted,

Sally Parrott, writing as Jayne Ormerod

December Meeting

A big thank you to Mary Jac for her presentation on the Critique Process.

Notes on the meeting and critiquing will be posted soon.

Remember, "first come, first served" for critiques in January.  Email your 5 pages (in manuscript form) to EBWG2013@aol.com.