At our annual post-holiday white elephant swap I selected
the largest box and just about jumped out of my skin when I opened it and saw
lying there.amidst a puddle of red tissue paper a little bitty book. But not just any little-bitty book, but a
fresh-off-the-Barnes-and-Noble bookshelf copy of the latest Mommy Porn book. It
was the most popular book, sales wise, ever. I could feel heat flood my face as
I stared down at the very, very, very, suggestive cover. Me, retired
kindergarten teacher, president of the Ladies Aide society and a Girl Scout
Troup Leader of the Year for the past quarter century, was expected to lift the
book out of the box and pass it around for all to see. This was not the kind of
thing one shared with this audience. "Show us" came a chorus of
church ladies, the youngest of whom was seventy-two. I feared old Mrs. Monroe
would have a heart attack if she saw what was in the box. But the chants got louder and I couldn't very
well NOT show it. So I reached in, and
between pinched fingers, extracted the glossy-covered book and held it high for
all to see. The crowd reaction was
shocked silence, stone-faced disapprovers all. Not a gasp or a titter or snort
to be heard. What would those women
think if they knew my dirty little secret, that I was the author of this
naughty little book? But an author who
was smiling all the way to the bank.
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